Pest-free hockey at HC 's-Hertogenbosch
Hockey Club 's-Hertogenbosch is committed to creating a sporting and, above all, safe environment for its members, young and old. This is also one of the reasons we've created a new club coaching position. To further ensure a safe environment, an anti-bullying protocol has been developed.
Good team agreements at the start of the season are very important.
In this, our Bossche Basis is leading with 14 points; www.hcdenbosch.nl/sportiviteit-en-respect
We are convinced that with this anti-bullying protocol we are taking another step towards creating a safer sports environment for us and our children.
In het nieuwe seizoen zullen we hier verder invulling aan geven.
With sporty regards,
Jacques Brinkman, Jacques can be reached via: clubkadercoach@hcdenbosch.nl
Anti-bullying protocol HC 's-Hertogenbosch
adopted on April 17, 2023
Table of contents
- Introduction
- Teasing vs. Bullying2.1 Characteristics of bullying and teasing2.2 Differences between bullying and teasing2.3 Recognizing bullying2.4 The difference in the consequences of bullying and teasing2.5 Cyberbullying
- Parties involved3.1 Children who are bullied3.2 Children who bully3.3 Other team members3.4 Team guidance3.5 The association
- Aanpakken van pesten op onze vereniging
4.1 Omgangsprotocol
4.1.1 Teamafspraken
4.1.2 Iedereen (blijven) betrekken
4.2 Hoe te handelen bij een vermoeden van pestgedrag - Support for the bully, the bullied and the team5.1 Support for the bullied child5.2 Support for the bully5.3 Involving the team5.4 Supporting / informing the parents
- Sanctions
Appendix 1 Step-by-step plan
1. Introduction
Bullying unfortunately affects all generations and will always exist. It affects the various people involved, either directly or indirectly. As a sports club, we exist to help our members enjoy their sport. We help them grow in their sport and ensure they enjoy training and participating in competitions. Bullying negatively impacts this, and we therefore want to identify and address it carefully. To ensure everyone knows the right path and to provide guidance to those involved, the club has established this protocol.
Dit protocol is bekend bij onze leden, trainers, coaches, managers en andere (betaalde en onbetaalde) betrokkenen bij onze vereniging. In dit protocol gaan we in op de verschillen tussen pesten en plagen, hoe het pesten te signaleren, de consequenties ervan en hoe ermee om te gaan. Het protocol verwijst veelal naar pesten door en richting kinderen, maar kan ook gelden voor pesten door en richting volwassenen (daar waar in het protocol verwezen wordt naar ‘kind’ kan dan ‘volwassene’ worden gelezen).
2. Teasing vs. Bullying
Pesten is niet hetzelfde als plagen. Er zijn wel degelijk verschillen tussen beiden. Dit is in het begin niet altijd meteen goed zichtbaar.
2.1 Characteristics of bullying and teasing
Bullying is (mental, physical or sexual) systematic violence by a club member/volunteer or a group of club members/volunteers towards one or more club members/volunteers who are no longer able to defend themselves.
Teasing involves equal power dynamics: one moment one person is the victim, the next the other. Teasing is incidental. Often, it's a matter of playing tricks on each other. Teasing doesn't leave the victim with lasting psychological and/or physical damage and is usually able to defend themselves.
Bullying is structural. It can drive children and/or those involved to despair. Because of its structural nature, a policy is necessary to address the problem. A short-term project or one-time activity usually doesn't achieve enough.
2.2 Differences between bullying and teasing
Bullying can initially be seen as teasing. This can sometimes make it difficult to identify. The overview below clearly outlines the differences, making it easier to recognize bullying.
| Plagues | In Pest |
|---|---|
| It's innocent, thoughtless, and spontaneous. Sometimes accompanied by humor. | It's calculated. People usually know in advance who, how, and when they're going to bully. They deliberately want to hurt someone. |
| Is short-lived or happens only temporarily. | Is sustainable: it happens repeatedly, systematically and for a long time (does not stop by itself after a short time) |
| Unequal struggle: The bullied's feelings of powerlessness are pitted against the bully's feelings of power. | |
| Usually tolerable or even fun but can also be hurtful or aggressive. | |
| Usually one on one. | Usually a group (bully and followers) versus one isolated victim. |
| Who teases whom isn't fixed. The parties alternate constantly. | There's a tendency toward a fixed structure. The bullies are usually the same, as are the victims. |
Below are some common bullying tactics bullies use on their victims:
- complete silence
- isolate
- psychological and/or physical abuse
- hit or kick
- constantly making so-called nice comments about a teammate
- taking away or destroying possessions
- embarrassed
- constantly blaming the victim for something
- making comments about clothing or appearance
- sending emails, WhatsApp, Snapchat (or similar channels) messages with threatening or offensive content
- posting offensive content via social media channels
- digitally distributing or posting insulting images of the victim on the Internet
2.3 Recognizing bullying
As mentioned before, it's sometimes difficult to tell whether it's just joking around between friends or bullying. Below are some common characteristics of both the bully and the victim.
| Characteristics of Bullied | Characteristics of a Bully |
|---|---|
| The child seeks safety and company with the trainer or other adults. | The child finds it difficult to play or work together, because it likes to determine the play itself. |
| When groups are chosen, the child is chosen last or is left over. | The child cannot tolerate criticism and becomes angry if his/her behavior is questioned, even if it is just a joke. |
| Hockey performance declines. The child enjoys playing less. | The bully is often rude to other children. |
| The child is often absent, literally or figuratively. It escapes into its own imagination. | The bully has difficulty empathizing with the feelings of others and has little or no sense of guilt. |
| Many conflicts arise surrounding the child. The child's name is frequently mentioned. | The child often exhibits transgressive behavior. |
| The child takes on the role of victim. (It's okay, it just is.) | The child sometimes lives a double life. Well-behaved and obedient in the group, but quite the opposite during free time. |
2.4 The difference in the consequences of bullying and teasing
Teasing has a friendly undertone, a joke between people who like each other. Bullying aims to hurt someone. The following overview briefly describes the differences in the consequences of both.
| Consequences of Plagues | Consequences of Bullying |
|---|---|
| A scrape or a brief, bearable pain (part of the game). Teasing is sometimes also perceived as pleasurable ("teasing is asking for kisses") | If not addressed promptly, the consequences (both physical and psychological) can be very painful, complicated and long-lasting. |
| Former relationships are quickly repaired. The dispute or conflict is quickly resolved. | Building better relationships isn't easy. Recovery is very difficult. |
| One remains included in the group. | Isolation and great loneliness among the injured. |
| The group doesn't really suffer from it | The group suffers from a threatening and unsafe climate. Everyone is fearful and distrustful of one another. Consequently, there is little openness and spontaneity. There are few, if any, true friends within the group. |
2.5 Cyberbullying
The Cyberbullying Research Center defines cyberbullying as "intentional and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, mobile phones, and other electronic devices." These interactions often result in humiliation for the victim. They are intentional and relentless.
In this form of bullying, the victim receives mean messages via social media, for example. Victims can constantly encounter vulnerable situations online, making them feel like they're not safe anywhere from a cyberbully.
Cyberbullying differs from "traditional" bullying in some respects. It can occur remotely, anonymously, and continuously. A striking feature of this form of bullying is that the language used is much harsher than in direct bullying. This is possible due to the anonymity in which it occurs. The chance of being caught is smaller than with open bullying. The effects of cyberbullying can be more severe than with traditional bullying. Webcam recordings can be captured by the bully. Once posted online, photos are sometimes impossible to delete. These forms of bullying can be very threatening.
3. Parties involved
When bullying occurs, multiple parties are directly and indirectly involved in the situation. Team members, coaches, and trainers are also involved.
When you bring bullying to attention within a team, it is important that all parties involved acknowledge the bullying as such.
3.1 Children who are bullied
Children who are bullied are usually insecure, cautious, and often have a negative self-image. They sometimes struggle with social skills and are often isolated. The bullied is often physically weaker than the bully. Physical characteristics such as weight, clothing, or wearing glasses generally have less influence than is thought. Bullied children do have difficulty defending themselves. They feel powerless against the bully. Bullied children often feel very lonely.
3.2 Children who bully
Children who bully often appear to be strong in a group. These are children who often have problems at home and are constantly fighting for power because they feel lost. By bullying, they try to impress the group. By putting others down, they boost their self-esteem.
3.3 Other team members
There's a group of children who don't play an active role in the whole situation, but who are decisive in perpetuating the bullying. These are the other team members. Bullying children can feel reinforced by the silent approval of others. Children often see and hear more than a trainer or coach. Bullying often happens just when it's out of earshot. Other team members do observe this, but often don't dare to say so.
3.4 Team guidance
In a team, you also have to deal with trainers, coaches, managers, and parents. It's up to them to recognize bullying as quickly as possible and take appropriate action.
3.5 The association
As an association, we have this anti-bullying protocol. In addition, our association has two confidential advisors who hold an independent position within the association.
In addition to these confidential advisors, there are several people involved with our members who can be contacted. These are the line coordinators of the youth committee and the field coordinators who are on and around the fields during training sessions.
4. Tackling bullying in our association
Many children progress through the entire program from Juniors to Under-18s within the same club. This often means they join teams with the same teammates. Sometimes there are minor changes due to the first- and second-year teams within a team.
It's important to identify, discuss, and document any problems that arise. Over time, it should become clear to trainers, coaches, managers, and line coordinators where the problems exist and/or could arise.
A clear transfer of this kind of information is therefore very important at the start of a new season to the team's management.
4.1 Round protocol
Bullying is something you want to prevent. That's why we have agreements about how we interact with each other, both within the club and within the teams themselves. As a club, we promote respect for each other and each other's belongings. We want to be a club where everyone feels at home and safe. We consider a safe sports environment to be very important. We have standards and values for how we interact with each other. These are included in the 'Hockey Club 's-Hertogenbosch Code of Conduct' and the 'Code of Conduct for Sexual Harassment in Sports (NOC*NSF/KNHB)' as part of the 'Safe Sports Environment Policy', which can be found on the club's website (https://www.hcdenbosch.nl/veilige-sportomgeving-hc-s-hertogenbosch). These standards and values are familiar to our members, coaches, supporters, and all other stakeholders (paid and unpaid). These will be communicated to us every season.
4.1.1 Teamafspraken
Team composition changes every year. They're a mix of people, all in different stages of life, with their own goals and values. Therefore, it's important to discuss a few things together at the beginning of the season:
- How do we treat each other?
- How do we handle the Team app group?
- Why are you here? What do you want to achieve this season?
- What do we want to achieve as a team? Are we happy with third place, or do we want to become champions?
- Make agreements about how we will achieve the above and the consequences for not complying with these agreements.
Point 1 mentioned above covers many topics. Some topics that can be discussed include:
- We don't judge by appearance
- We do not touch other people's things
- We don't laugh at each other
- We only address each other by nicknames if the other person also wants this
- We vloeken, schelden niet
- We don't gossip
- Hoe om te gaan bij ruzie
- Listen to each other
- Welcome and accommodate newcomers to the team
- How to Deal with a Bully
- Report bullying to your trainer/coach/manager. Make it clear that this isn't snitching.
Point 2 concerns the Team WhatsApp group. Each team has a WhatsApp group with players and coaches. Discuss with each other what should be shared there, and especially what shouldn't. Keep communication open about this, and speak to each other when messages or images are posted that are unacceptable. Take a screenshot, as a message can be deleted quickly, and speak to the child and parents about it.
4.1.2 Keep everyone involved
Make sure everyone involved with the team, including parents and coaches, is aware of the points discussed in the previous paragraph. The advantage of documenting various topics in advance in a protocol is that everyone has a clear understanding of the situation. Coaches/managers can identify bullying early on by always being alert to one of the signs mentioned. These signs are, of course, not exhaustive.
It's also a good idea to revisit this with the team midway through the season and share this with parents and coaches. If the person directly responsible anticipates problems, it's wise to put the rules in writing and have them signed by the team members, the coach, and the manager.
4.2 How to act when bullying is suspected
When does it stop being teasing and become bullying? If you suspect bullying, it's important to take it seriously. Addressing bullying starts with acknowledging it.
Step 1
Determine whether the bullied person has tried to resolve the issue with the bully first. A simple "stop, hold on, I don't like it" is enough to indicate that someone is going too far.
Also try to determine whether the bullied person is capable of confronting the bully. Consider the child's age and personality.
Step 2
When the bullied person cannot cope (in fact, becomes the loser or scapegoat), the trainer/coach/manager should actively intervene.
- The trainer/coach/manager brings the parties together for a discussion and tries to resolve the dispute or bullying together with them and make (new) agreements.
- Talk to the parents of both parties after informing the children. It's important that both parents are heard and supported.
- Inform/involve the confidential advisors, or at least refer those involved to them.
Step 3
If desirable and/or necessary, hold a discussion with the entire team. As a trainer/coach/manager, you can bring up the topic of bullying by discussing with the team the causes and consequences for the victims, perpetrators, followers, and the silent middle group. Discuss whether they realize the pain they are causing with their attitude. The team can then be asked for suggestions on how to improve the situation for the bullied teammate. This should also include revisiting the agreements made at the beginning of the season.
Step 4
In the event of repeated arguments/bullying, the trainer/coach/manager will take a clear stand and hold a punitive conversation with the child/young person who is bullying/arguing. The stages of punishment are implemented (see sanctions). The name of the person causing the argument/bullying is also recorded in a report. For each report, the trainer/coach/manager will describe the circumstances. The trainer/coach/manager and parents will work together to find a satisfactory solution.
5. Support for the bully, the bullied and the team
De trainer/coach/manager biedt altijd hulp aan de gepeste en begeleidt de pester, indien nodig in overleg met de ouders en/of externe deskundigen. Daarnaast wordt ook het team er in betrokken.
5.1 Supporting the bullied child
As soon as you suspect a child is being bullied, talk to them. The following topics may be discussed:
- Showing empathy (taking the problem seriously), listening and finding out how and by whom bullying is taking place
- Find out how the child/young person reacts, what he/she does before, during and after the bullying (crying or becoming very angry is often a reaction that a bully wants to provoke).
- Show the child/young person that you can respond in a different way
- Finding and practicing a different response, for example not isolating yourself
- Showing the bullied child why a child bullies
- Find out which solution the child/young person wants
- Discuss with the child which skills he/she can learn
- Emphasize the child/young person's strengths
- Reward (pat on the back) if the child behaves differently/better
- Talking to the parents of the bullied child and the parents of the bully(ies)
- Don't overprotect the bullied child, for example, by taking them to practice or saying, "I'll tell the bullies." This actually places the bullied child in an exceptional position, which can actually escalate the bullying.
5.2 Supporting the bully
Research shows that bullies are often physically and verbally stronger than their teammates. They view their victims as worthless, are aggressive, lack self-control, and have a positive attitude toward violence.
Furthermore, it turns out that bullies are very unpopular with other children (although it sometimes doesn't seem that way). They use differences (different hair color, different clothing, better or worse performance) as a false excuse to make life difficult for others. Essentially, they need scapegoats on whom to vent their frustrations. They generally have no idea what they're doing and therefore feel little guilt. It's wishful thinking to expect them to stop bullying on their own.
Assistance to the bully may include the following:
- Talking: Looking for the reason for the arguing/bullying (wanting to be the boss, jealousy, boredom, feeling left out, being bullied yourself, being afraid of becoming a target if someone else isn't the scapegoat, wanting to act big in front of others)
- make the bullied realize the effect of his/her behavior on them
- excuses aan laten bieden
- show what strong (pleasant) sides the bullied person has
- Bullying is prohibited in and around the hockey club: we adhere to these rules. We punish the child if they bully and reward them (pat on the back) if they follow the rules.
- Teach the child not to react angrily immediately, learn to control it, for example the 'stop-think-first' attitude or learn another way of behaving
- contact tussen ouders en trainer/coach/manager: elkaar informeren en overleggen. Inleven in het kind/de jongere: wat is de oorzaak van het pesten?
- discuss with the child which skills can be acquired
- Make agreements with the bully about behavioral changes. Compliance with these agreements will be discussed in a short meeting at the end of each week (for a period).
- het kind/de jongere helpen zich aan regels en afspraken te houden
- If the bullying continues, external help can be called in: social skills training, primary care psychology practice.
5.3 Het team betrekken bij de oplossingen van het pestprobleem
- talk to team members about bullying and their role in it
- Consult with team members about possible solutions and what they can contribute to those solutions. Record this in rules and a plan
- work together with team members on solutions, in which they play an active role
5.4 Support / inform the parents
It's important that the parents of the children involved are heard and receive support where needed. It's also important that, in close consultation with the involved parties, the other parents on the team are also informed. This prevents the team from developing its own narrative and demonstrates that this is a topic that can be discussed. Tips to support parents include:
- taking parents who are concerned seriously
- ouders informeren over pestsituaties, over pesten en over manieren om pesten aan te pakken en te voorkomen
- consult with parents about ways to deal with bullying situations
- if necessary, refer parents to our confidential advisors and/or expert help.
6. Sanctions
The following measures are appropriate if the bullying continues. The punishments consist of four steps, depending on how long the bully persists and shows no improvement.
Step 1
- één training niet aanwezig zijn
- stay until all teammates have gone home
- a written assignment such as an essay about the circumstances and his or her role in the bullying problem
- through conversation: awareness of what he/she does with the bullied child
- Make agreements with the bully about behavioral changes. Compliance with these agreements will be discussed in a short meeting at the end of each week (for a period).
Step 2
More actively involve parents in the solution. The hockey club has kept a record of the actions that took place. This record serves as the basis for the discussion. After consultation, place the bully on a different team.
Step 3
In case of persistent bullying, suspend the bully for a certain period, which suspension will be imposed by the board, or at least a party designated by the board for that purpose.
Step 4
In extreme cases, the bully can be expelled by the association's board.
Appendix 1. Step-by-step plan
Wanneer er een vermoeden van pesten is, pak dit dan meteen op door middel van de volgende stappen:
Regarding the bullied:
- Observations: the trainer and/or coach observes and recognizes behavior. If you, as a trainer, have any doubts, ask the field coordinator to observe your training.
- As a trainer or coach, talk to the child. If you, as a young trainer, find this difficult, bring it up with the field coordinators present. They will address this further for or with you. If the behavior is observed more than twice during a training session or on the field, other coaches and/or trainers involved with the team should be informed of the observations and the conversation by phone or email.
- The parents of the bullied child are informed by either the line coordinator, technical manager, coach, trainer, and/or manager. During this meeting, the situation is outlined and the agreements made with the children in question are also discussed.
- If desired, refer involved parties to our confidential advisors.
Regarding the bully:
- Observe; the trainer and/or coach sees and recognizes behavior. If you, as a trainer, have any doubts, ask the field coordinator to observe your training.
- Ga, als trainer of coach in gesprek met het kind. Vind je dit als jonge trainer lastig, kaart het dan aan bij de veldcoördinatoren die aanwezig zijn. Zij zullen dit verder voor of samen met je oppakken. In dit gesprek wordt aangegeven welk gedrag niet wordt geaccepteerd (en waarom niet), en wat de gevolgen en maatregelen zullen zijn. Tijdens dit gesprek wordt ook naar het verhaal van de pester geluisterd. Vraag hierbij door, waarom doet hij of zij dit. Op deze manier komen er soms andere dingen aan het licht dan verwacht.
Indien het gedrag meer dan 2 keer wordt gesignaleerd op een training of op het veld dan dienen overige coaches en/of trainers die betrokken zijn bij het team via telefonisch/mail contact op de hoogte gebracht te worden van de observaties en het gesprek. - The parents of the bullying child are informed by either the line coordinator, technical manager, coach, trainer, and/or manager. During this conversation, the situation is outlined and the agreements made with the children in question are also discussed.
